Relationship Advice for Women - 5 Biggest Turn-Offs for Men

In the past I've written some articles on relationship advice for women and the biggest turn-ons for men but in this article, we're going to be talking about five of the biggest turn offs for men. Things that you might not even know you're doing. Now, generally speaking, I really don't like to focus on the negative because I believe that you can absolutely create an amazing life that you love by being the best version of yourself. And as we bring the best versions of ourselves to the world, we create amazing results and when we become aware of patterns that we may have. As we become aware of patterns that are no longer serving us then we can choose to shift those patterns to re-pattern those things into something more positive. A mind expanded to a new awareness never returns to its original size. So let's take a look at some of these five patterns that turn men off and if you're implementing any of these you can shift those and create something positive from it.

-So the first big turnoff for men is drama. See, drama creates stress in one's life so as men, when we're dating a woman, we look out for how she handles things that don't go her way and her life. Does she turn a molehill into a mountain and create a bunch of drama around it? Or is she able to take a mountain - something massive this happened - and bring calm and peace to it and turn it in to a molehill. If you're the type of person where you create drama, if you have a pattern of drama, your man's going to feel more stressed in your presence. And when a man feels stressed in the relationship, more stressed than when he's not in the relationship, those are the moments when he chooses to get out of that relationship.

-Big turnoff number two is negativity. I mean generally speaking, we all prefer to hang around positive people versus negative people but here's where it backfires in relationships: If you have a pattern of negativity - in other words finding what's wrong in any given situation - you're complaining about the restaurant you're going to or complaining about the people in your life. If you're talking bad about other people in your life and you're complaining about your coworker and how your coworker is a narcissist and everything is all about them and how they dropped this big project on you at the very last minute...blah, blah, blah.

This relationship advice for women is very important because what ends up happening in a man's mind is he's thinking "well she might like me right now but when she doesn't like me, Man, this is going to be bad news. When I'm not around, maybe she's going to go around saying negative things about me as well.

-Let's get on to number three. Number three is being late. Why is being late such a turnoff? Well, the most limited commodity that you and I have is our time, right? None of us can create more time. We only get so much time and none of us know how many days that we have. So, inevitably, if someone is constantly late, like you know, he's going to pick you up for the movies or pick you up for a date and you say "Hey, I'll be ready at seven". And then it's eight o'clock and that when you're finally getting ready because of whatever happened in your day. What that sub consciously communicates is that you are more important than him. You value your time more important than he values his time.

Now you might be the kind of person where you also value someone who is on time because they respect your time and you're respecting their time, that's great. But if you notice that you have a pattern of being late, know that that might be a bigger turnoff than people are actually communicating to you.

-Turn off number four is unsolicited advice. Now as a woman, you are programmed to try to make everything better around you. That's just been part of your hard-wiring for millennia. You're trying to make the world a better place. You're trying to improve the house. You're trying to improve the home. You're trying to improve society as is hard-coded into you. The challenge is when you offer unsolicited advice to a man. It communicates that you don't trust him; that you don't believe that he can really provide the experience that you're looking for without trying to control it. So, just be aware of the amount of advice that you're giving him that he hasn't asked for yet. Do you advise him on where to park? Do you advise him on how to drive? Do you tell him what to wear?

If he's asking for suggestions, that's one thing. If he's asking for a recommendation, support him. But if he's not asking for advice, then the best thing that you can do is actually support him by allowing him to do it the way he wants to do it and then acknowledge him for the effort that he's made.

-Now to big turn off number five. And this is the biggest of all of them. It's entitlement. Nobody likes someone who acts with entitlement. You don't like it, men don't like it. But it can show up in subtle ways especially because in society we've been programmed to expect certain things, right? So, often we're programmed to expect that the man is going to pay; we're programmed to expect that the man should be opening the door for you or pulling out the chair for you. And while yes, men should be doing these things, men should be chivalrous. Men should be planning the day in advance and creating an environment where you feel safe you; feel adored you feel taken care of. When a woman acts like she's entitled to those things, in other words he pays for the day and she doesn't even say thank you. She doesn't even appreciate him for the day or he opens the car door and she just gets in and sit down and doesn't acknowledge him for that, that is a massive turnoff for men. Because men we project that. We imagine what life going to be like with this woman. And the opposite of that is also true. If you flip the script and appreciate him for the things he's doing, he loves it and so it's as simple as saying thank you. I appreciate that.

If you want to get better behavior out of your man, start celebrating him for things he is doing well and he's going to start gravitating to doing those things and more.

So there you have it five of the biggest turn off for men and I would love to hear from you this is your opportunity to share below what turns you off that men do. Go ahead and share your biggest turn off in the comments below. I love checking out your comments. If you found this article informative or educational in the least way possible, please, share it with your friends. The share buttons are at the top of this post.

Dealing with Relationship Insecurity - 9 Tips to Overcoming Insecurity

Insecurities, we all have them. Whether or not it's something physical that you're insecure about like your height, your weight, maybe the fact that you've got pointy little ears or maybe your insecurities stem from a lack of financial resources. Maybe you don’t have the nicest car or your clothes aren't exactly as nice as your buddy's. But regardless of what you're insecure about, nothing can kill a potentially great situation like relationship insecurity. So today, I thought I’d go over nine tips for overcoming relationship insecurity.

Dealing with Insecurity in a Relationship

Tip 1: Don't judge your current relationship based on your previous relationships. Because here's the deal, just because your past girlfriend/boyfriend cheated on you doesn't mean that the current one is cheating on you. Nothing is going to potentially kill a relationship like making the current partner pay for the deeds of your past partner. The beautiful thing about new relationships is that you get to start fresh. It's like a relationship do over, so don't screw this one up.

Tip 2: Don't confuse imagination with reality. When we start getting insecure in relationship, we start imagining some crazy things and start reading into everything. It's like "Oh my god, she didn't text back in five minutes. This means that she's definitely cheating on me". I know because I have been there. I have been like the super freaky paranoid guy that starts reading into everything. Here's the deal, what I learned is that the best way to basically squash this is to encourage open and honest communication from the start. But you have to start doing it when things are good, not when things are already bad. Don't be like: "We need to talk; we need to start being honest". Because you're going to get weird and it's going to turn the other person off super-fast. Encourage communication from the beginning but don't read in or let your mind play crazy tricks on you. I know it's hard but you've got to trust that if the other person has something to say, they're going to say it to you.

Tip 3: Stop trying to mind-read. You can't mind read. If you can, just call Oprah, because you are going to be famous.☺ You can't mind read; nobody can. So don't try, ask instead. Trying to mind-read often leads to wrong assumptions which leads to misunderstandings and then heartbreaks if not properly handled. When in doubt, don’t try to read your partner’s mind. Just ask them.

Tip 4: Once you ask, don't keep asking. Once you're there, the relationships over. There is nothing that's going to destroy a potentially good thing like your persistent pestering. For example, if your partner seems moody, and you ask them about it and they say they’re okay, you've got to trust them. Don’t go on pestering them about it even if something is obviously wrong. You could piss them off doing that. If they want to tell you about it, they will.

Tip 5: Your relationship also needs room to breathe. Think of a relationship as a tree or a sapling. When it's new and fresh, you plant that sapling. What do you do? You nurture it, you give it water. You give it some dirt, you give it sunshine. You give it room to breathe. If you are constantly standing over that tree waiting, like "Oh grow, little tree!", then you're going to smother it.
The same thing happens to relationships. It is okay to have "me-time". Not only is it good, it is a critical component to a healthy relationship. If you are too clingy and holding on for dear life, like "I'm never going to let you out of my sight", that is a breeding ground for big trouble.
You need to have your own things going on. You need to have other interests and other friends. The best and strongest relationships are with people that have their own lives.

Tip 6: Understand that relationships are not always roses and puppies. A lot of times when we get into a relationship like a new relationship, how great does that feel? You are walking on air and it feels amazing. The endorphin and everything is going crazy. Well guess what, that never lasts. It can't last. We can't and we're not designed to maintain that level of emotional endorphin releasing intensity. Your relationship is going to ebb, it's going to flow, it's going to have highs and it's going to have lows.
The idea is that you don't just bail at the first sight of trouble. Focus on the good, focus on the positive. If it's a lasting relationship and something that is supposed to be, then it's okay. Don't just freak out. Keep nurturing, keep working and eventually it'll work itself out.

Tip 7: This point is very important, so I recommend you read it twice. Do not snoop. Do not steal their phone or look through their phone or look through text messages. Don't break into Facebook, don't look in emails. Guys, once you reach that point, the insecurity point at which you feel the need to snoop, you'll never stop. Because you'll never trust them and I'm telling you, if you work hard enough you're going to find something that you're going to misread and turn into a situation.

Here's the thing, if you look and you find something that you want to question them about, what are you going to do? You're going to act weird. You're not going to come out and or if you do come out and confront them, they're going to get mad because you went through their stuff. And then you're going to try to make up some excuse of why you needed to look in their phone and go through twenty seven text messages.

Guys, don’t start that situation because once you start, it is impossible to stop.

Tip 8: This is an important one and it is that there is nobody else who is responsible for your happiness except you and vice versa. You're not responsible for anybody else's happiness except yours.

Tip 9: Remember that relationships are supposed to feel good and you're supposed to feel better being with this person. If it comes to a point where you don't feel good when you're with somebody, chances are it's not the right person and it's time to break up. Is it going to suck? Yes, it will. Is it going to be devastating to them for a while? You betcha! But rest assured it's going to be the best for both of you.

Insecurities, we all have them but managing them and knowing how to handle them when it comes to relationships, is a key component to you having a happy healthy and successful relationship. You deserve the best so go out and get it.